Review: Groomed

~Review at a Glance~

Title: Groomed
My Rating: 5
Genre: Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian
Format: Paperback ARC*
Publication Date:
Author: Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good with Beth Jusino

~Book Blurb~

Someone in your past sold you a false story about who you are and what you’re worth. It has been holding you back for too long. Take control of your future.

A staggering one out of three women in America was a victim of sexual abuse at some point in her childhood. No matter how many years it’s been, if that’s your story, those scars are probably still with you. But even if that’s not part of your story, this book is for you. Women today have been groomed for a lot more than just sex.

Using her own story of abuse, family tragedy, and rebellion, Elizabeth Melendez Fisher guides readers toward an understanding that grooming is oftentimes subtle, but it’s always life-altering. In Groomed Fisher incorporates the language and lessons gained over the past decade working with sex trafficking victims and her work in ministry and counseling before that. She draws out five specific ways that women have been groomed, from physical appearance to spirituality to finances, and shows how those manipulative messages have affected the way we see our worth and how they’ve oftentimes stifled and limited us. From there Fisher offers readers a way to overcome their past, starting with the all-important but rarely explored idea of a selah, or a time of rest and reflection, and exploring active ways to forgive and move forward to a new level of freedom.

No one has to be defined by her past. No one has to live for her groomers. It’s time to take a look back at where we came from to escape the messages of our past and take control of our future. 

~My Thoughts~

When Ii was growing up, I never gave much thought to what I was being told. I listened to my parents, teachers, and elders without question. And knowing what I know about most of them, I truly believe they thought they were teaching me what was best. Then, I read books like these and question nearly everything I have ever known.

During college, I got a degree in Women’s Studies. While getting this degree, I was forced to ask myself a lot of questions and face a lot of assumptions. One time I was sitting in class, curled up in my seat, taking notes, and the professor began talking about women and physical space. She asked if we ever feel the need to make ourselves physically smaller and why we thought that was. I was the literal representation of her question but I didn’t have an answer.

After exhaustive discussion, we landed somewhere in the realm of society tells us we should. For some unknown reason, I have changed the way I feel most comfortable because I feel I have to. As an almost 6 foot tall woman, it’s become almost a pathological need to be smaller, because you can’t be feminine and big. I love having a term for this condition, I’ve been groomed to believe women should be smaller.

This is one of those books that I would love to discuss in one of my classes.

Beyond that, I love how this book is presented. With 3 separate parts, each exploring different aspects of being groomed, I found myself crying at times. Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good’s writing is so informing and moving that as I was reading, I felt myself internalizing her words.

As Part 3 begins, there are a series of questions. If these questions don’t provoke thought and reflection, then I don’t know what can. I don’t know if self reflection can truly change the ingrained programming I have, but just being aware of the problem, is a large part of the battle.

I don’t read a lot of self help books, but this is really so much more. I’m so glad to have been a part of this tour and hope that Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good’s work can reach even more people.

*Special thanks to Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good, TLC Book Tours, and Thomas Nelson publishing for giving me a copy of Groomed in exchange for an honest review.